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3 Ways To Save A Bad Relationship
By David Wygant

“I love you. You’re the best. I love listening to you. I love everything about you. You do no wrong in my book. Oh my god, you’re so amazing. Oh my god, it’s so cute the way that you eat your cereal. I love the way you roll over in the middle of the night and mumble in your sleep-it’s so cute.”

Now fast forward a year later.

“Stop talking in your sleep. God, your habits are irritating to me! Will you stop talking so much? I’m busy. Shut up. I hate the way that you chew your food. Why do you call me in the middle of the day for no reason at all?”

Isn’t it amazing what a year does in a relationship? You go from loving somebody’s balls to busting their balls constantly. It’s unbelievable how a relationship evolves. And then they always say to you, “We need to talk.”

Really? Who wants to talk to somebody that’s constantly disagreeing with them or busting their balls? Nobody. Because when you actually sit down and have a conversation, you’re not going to listen anyway, you’re just going to wait to jump in and blast the other person’s balls for a point that you want to make.

In the beginning of a relationship it’s full of “I love you’s”and “You’re the best”. You know why? Because you’re under the drug called Oxytocin. And then some months later reality sets in and you learn the real person you’re dating, and they start irritating you.

So, how do you save a bad relationship? Three ways.

Step number one: Actually listen to the person.

Allow them to talk, even if it’s 20 or 25 minutes, without interrupting, without getting your point across, without having to say something. Allow them to talk and listen to them, like you did before, with no judgment.

Step number two: Clear a space in your heart.

Try to remember all the things you loved about them in the beginning. This is very important. There is a reason that the two of you got together. There were qualities about this person that made you commit to exploring a deeper relationship. Take some time to pull back and clear your heart of the anger and negativity. Then see why you loved this person in the first place.

Step three: Ask yourself, “Do I love the person that’s in front of me?”

That’s who that person really is. You’re no longer under the influence of the first six months of La-la-ville and you’re now seeing who the real person is. Do you love that person? Do you honor that person? Do you respect that person? Do you want to love that person? Do you want to do things for that person? Do you want to be with that person?

Stop busting each other’s balls when you’re in a relationship and start seeing whether you can live with each other’s balls.

Author Info:
David Wygant a leading personal dating coach, dating advice professional and image-maker. For 20 years David Wygant has worked to earn the trust of American men looking to transform their love lives. David also has a dedicated women’s dating advice site that offers a wealth of free dating information specifically for women.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=David_Wygant
http://EzineArticles.com/?3-Ways-To-Save-A-Bad-Relationship&id=6828606

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How to Win Back Your Guy’s Heart – Top Tips
By PJ Ross

You’ve just gone though a break up and you’re feeling hurt and confused. You’re not sure where to go from here. The only thing you know for certain is that you’re not ready to let this relationship go. So what do you do? How do you reverse your break up? Follow these tips to win back your guy’s heart.

1. Remind him of who he fell in love with in the first place

The person he broke up with is not the same person he fell in love with. Think about it. You were acting differently at the end of your relationship than at the beginning of it (and so was he). In order to win back your guy’s heart you’re going to have to be the person he fell in love with at the start. Being the person he broke up with will only remind him of why your relationship ended in the first place.

Don’t try to put on airs and be someone you’re not. You’re not going to win him back by pretending to be someone else. Just be yourself. You are the person he fell in love with, not someone you were pretending to be. Besides, building a relationship on a lie will only lead to trouble down the road.

2. Apologize and forgive

Emotions always run high during a break up. You may have said or done some things that you now regret. Don’t just act like nothing happened and hope he’ll forget. Acknowledge your mistakes and sincerely apologize for them.

Even if you apologized before he may not have heard you or taken you seriously. He may have thought you were just saying anything you could to prevent the break up. It doesn’t hurt to just say you’re sorry even if you’ve said it before.

Don’t hold a grudge if your partner doesn’t rush to apologize to you. He probably has some things to apologize for but that does not mean you’ll get an “I’m sorry” any time soon. Don’t hold a grudge. Just get over it and forgive him. The longer you hold on to your anger the less likely you are to win back your guy’s heart.

3. Have some fun

A guy isn’t going to be interested in someone who spends all her time crying or moping around. Go out and have some fun. Enjoy yourself. Seeing you happy will remind him of all the good times you shared together. You want him to miss those good times so he’ll look forward to having good times with you again.

These tips will get you started. Find more great information at The Magic of Making Up. These proven steps worked for me and they will work for you too.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=PJ_Ross
http://EzineArticles.com/?How-to-Win-Back-Your-Guys-Heart—Top-Tips&id=6594773

If you’re serious about getting your ex back, now you can get a free, step-by-step and personalized guide to reverse your break-up. Get started today! Guys, click here to get your ex girlfriend back. Ladies, click here to get your ex boyfriend back.

Other useful resource: get her back

If you want to learn the proven methods needed to win back the love of your life, you need to follow a system for you to be successful in getting your ex back. You cannot afford to make the wrong moves when it comes to getting back together with your ex. Before you do anything, you should have a plan and strategy in place. Guys, click here to get her back, ladies, click here to get him back.

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How To Solve Your Relationship Problems
By Chris Cade

Recently I’ve been going through a difficult time emotionally. It relates to significant changes in my relationship with somebody I am close with.

“No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.” ~ Albert Einstein

Most of the problems we have in life appear to be caused by circumstances and people beyond us. We often feel that changes are happening “to” us. Because of that, we try to solve problems using a faulty logic system.

It goes something like this…

“This other person hurt me. I am angry and sad. That person is bad/hurtful/mean because he made me angry and sad. I will try to make that person realize how much I am hurt. After he apologizes, I will feel better. Then we can be close again.”

While that may help you temporarily feel better, it’s not a lasting solution. Every time you are hurt, it requires somebody else to take responsibility for your pain.

In having enough challenges in my life, I have realized that the most important “problems” can only be “solved” by deep understanding of myself. That’s why whenever there are changes in my life, I always look inward to understand more deeply.

“There is nothing permanent except change.” ~ Heraclitus, 500 BC

We live in a world of of constant change. Emotions and relationships can come and go like the wind. Because of this, looking to others to make us feel better is a recipe for disaster.

What if the other person doesn’t know she wronged you?

What if the other person dies and he can never reconcile your pain?

What if the other person just really doesn’t care as much as you do?

Oh there’s probably a million “what ifs” that could make it impossible to ever receive the external validation that we often want.

Here’s a different what if…

What if we did the inner work to fundamentally change our view of the world?

“I can choose peace instead of this.” ~ A Course In Miracles

This is what I do whenever I hurt inside. I look within to ask myself questions like:

“Right now, how can I view this situation differently?”

“What don’t I understand about myself that is causing me pain right now?”

“What don’t I understand about the other person right now?”

“Right now, why do I incorrectly believe that the other person is responsible for my emotions?”

“How can I be more present in this moment right now?”

“Is it possible that I’m not being completely authentic right now?”

“What is blocking me from feeling love and compassion right now?”

Not all of those questions can always be answered immediately because most of our perceived problems come from our subconscious mind.

That’s part of why Albert Einstein says we need a different level of consciousness to solve problems. We try too hard to solve conscious problems with conscious attention. Sure the conscious attention helps. But fundamentally the only way to really solve the “outer world” problems is to do “inner world” transformation on our subconscious minds.

Interestingly enough, those “outer” world problems begin to resolve themselves, slowly but surely, as a consequence of doing that inner world work.

“Be the change you wish to see in the world.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi

Coming full circle…

When I am going through a difficult time, I don’t look to others to fix the pain I feel. It’s not their fault. They are not responsible for my emotions.

Instead, I use a variety of subconscious discovery techniques, conscious mindset shifts, affirmations, and other techniques to look within for the real truth about the situation.

I focus on the change I want to be.

And I trust that by extension of my inner changes, the outer world “problems” will find their natural resolution.

Claim Your Free “Getting Things Changed” Mini-Course:

Most people agree that they aren’t experiencing the inner peace, joy, and abundance that they want and deserve in life. Enjoy this free 7-part mini-program from Chris Cade that exposes the inner and outer obstacles conspiring against your best efforts to transform your life.

Click the link below and start your free course:

http://www.chriscade.com/getting-things-changed/free

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Chris_Cade
http://EzineArticles.com/?How-To-Solve-Your-Relationship-Problems&id=6587932

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Other useful resource: get her back

If you’re here searching for a way to get back with your ex, make sure you read my free guide on how to get your ex back. The information you can find there is gender-specific, so, please, choose the right one for you.

If you can provide your partner with their most basic desires, they will continue to love you and they won’t become bored or feel stale in the relationship. Keep things fresh and be the required nutrients to help your relationship grow.

Who Are These People That Are in Emotionally Abusive Relationships and How Did They Get There?
By Ruth E David

People aren’t in emotionally abusive relationships because they went out looking for one.

Some people look to be in a relationship, so their goal when they’re choosing activities and outings has that purpose in mind. They’re looking to find a partner and get into a relationship, but not an abusive one.

Others are going through life pursuing various interests and in the process meet someone interesting. They are in some way attracted to this person and a relationship develops.

At the beginning of the relationship everything is new and exciting. It’s a time of discovery and exploration for the person that sincerely believes this is going to be “the one.”

It doesn’t matter if you’re eight years old or eighty years old. The feelings of love and excitement will sweep a person off their feet.

These feelings and the memories being made as each day passes in the early days of a relationship impacts a person to their core, to the center of their heart, to the center of their being.

This is love.

It’s the greatest natural high a person can feel in life.

Put meaning together with this feeling and look out!

Love isn’t just the feeling, but now it means a future. A future of being together; forever!

If a person unfortunately meets and falls in love with an emotional abuser, the relationship doesn’t develop, however, like a healthy relationship develops.

Once manipulations, lies, threats, disrespect, and unfairness, just to name a few, enter the picture, then confusion is present.

At times the emotional abuser can be completely attentive and loving and then for no reason, they change. Of course if this change is addressed, the blame gets put on the person bringing up the matter.

One woman told a story of how she had a gut feeling that her boyfriend was in a particular motel with someone. When questioned about how she figured that out she said, “I don’t know. I just had this feeling.”

Anyway, sure enough, the woman drove to the motel and was able to see her boyfriend in bed with another woman. The man and other woman failed to pull the drapes completely closed.

If you want an honest impression on the matter, there’s a strong chance the drapes were left open on purpose. There’s also a strong chance that the emotional abuser had purposely left some clues behind to lead his partner to follow him and find what she found.

The woman telling this story said she pounded on the door, could hear her boyfriend and the other woman laughing, and then was so sickened that she actually vomited.

If this wasn’t bad enough, when the woman confronted her boyfriend about the situation after he finally came home, he told her she was imagining it.

He said it was her hormones and blamed it on her lack of sleep.

The woman was in utter amazement telling how she began to second guess herself and within a short time began to believe that what had happened that night had not happened. Her boyfriend was able to convince her that nothing had happened.

This same boyfriend also told her he could beat her where no bruises would be left and reminded her who he was and that no one would believe her if she ever did tell anyone.

She said she eventually went to a doctor and was given a prescription to treat her depression and sleep problems.

To make it really simple, when it comes to love, as people we really only have two choices.

A person can choose to never have anything to do with getting involved in a committed “love” relationship. They can choose to remain single throughout their entire life.

For this person, finding a mate is not a choice.

The second choice people have is to be open to finding love and to finding a mate. That is where we began this discussion.

If you’re open to finding a mate and someone to spend “forever” with you either are out there trying to make it happen or you are out there carrying on with life until it happens.

For this type person, finding a mate is a choice and with that choice comes the possibility of meeting an emotional abuser.

So, what is the answer to, “Who Are These People That Are in Emotionally Abusive Relationships and How Did They Get There?”

They are people who have made a decision of wanting to have a love relationship in their life.

They met and began loving someone who they believed would add happiness, joy, peace, and all those good things that a love relationship represents.

They met and began loving someone who needs to heal and grow individually before getting in a relationship with another human being.

Remember, the emotional abuser is human, too.

You’re probably asking, “Well, how do I know if someone is going to be an emotional abuser?”

And, that’s a question for another discussion.

FREE guides “What is emotional abuse?” and “What is an emotional abuser?” – Ruth Elaine David, Professional Mental Health Provider, helps people escape the psychological prison created by being in relationship with an emotional abuser, more specifically, a narcissistic emotional abuser.

To access your FREE guides TODAY, visit: http://www.EscapeEmotionalAbuserNow.com

Visit: http://www.Facebook.com/EscapeWithRuth to ask questions or make comments

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Ruth_E_David
http://EzineArticles.com/?Who-Are-These-People-That-Are-in-Emotionally-Abusive-Relationships-and-How-Did-They-Get-There?&id=6695828

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Complete Drug And Life Rehabilitation
By Merv Nash

DETOXIFICATION

Some substances are more physically addictive than others. In many cases, the level of physical addiction is proportional to the length of time for which they are used. The act of flushing harmful chemicals residues from the bloodstream and repairing physiological systems to their normal natural state is known as detoxification. Going through detox brings on a condition known as withdrawal which is a state of anxiety and craving for the drugs being washed out as they leave the body. This is the very reaction from the drug that trapped the person into taking more of it in the first place, otherwise known as addiction. Obviously, getting a person through this safely and with as little pain and uncontrollable craving is a critical part of any detox program. All good rehab facilities have the services of a competent medical professional at hand monitoring the individual as they go through this part of the program.

EASING THE PAIN

As well as medical monitoring to see that the person is never beyond their ability to get safely through the detox some programs have regimens of diet and supplements which can greatly ease this experience.

COMPLETELY REMOVING DRUGS FROM THE BODY

The other thing that has been discovered is that drugs lodge in the fatty tissues in the body. This is quite a major discovery. This discovery explains why relapses occur. You see, nearly all drugs are fat based substances which means that they do not dissolve in water so don’t just wash out of the person’s system no matter how much they drink or sweat in an attempt to clean themselves of drugs. What does happen is, because they are fat based substances, small amounts of them are attracted to the fatty tissues in the body where they lodge more or less permanently. One of the things that can release them back into the bloodstream again is exercise or any strong physical activity. This causes the person to get a taste of the drugs again and experience craving and is actually how craving occurs. If a rehab program does not address this issue and wash these residues out, the person will eventually revert. This point alone accounts for the majority of program failures.

LIFE SKILLS

There is another aspect to rehabilitation rarely covered and that is the area prior to addiction. What was the person doing that caused them to become susceptible to drugs? Unless this is addressed and handled the person, even though now clean, can be talked back into starting over again. A program that does not address this area of the person’s life and provide them with effective teaching, training and coaching to strengthen their character will also fail the person. This does not mean simply lecturing at them and telling them where they went wrong. It means getting them to fully understand all their actions and decisions that got them into drugs, increase their knowledge about living and help them develop useful life skills so they can determine for themselves what they want to achieve after they leave the center drug free.

Substance abuse is a significant, financial, and community health problem. Drugs and alcohol are the primary poisons which diminish the health of citizens, neighborhoods and cities as a whole. Treating substance abuse is a challenging ordeal and for that reason it requires total commitment from the center with well-defined rehab procedures. Complete program results can only be fully attained at an in-house rehabilitation facility. Furthermore, it is critical that you carefully choose a professional rehabilitation organization that addresses the issues mentioned and consequentially will be able to demonstrate a very high level of success.

Merv Says, To learn more about Drug and Life Rehabilitation and how to have a confidential conversation about your particular situation, visit: http://drugrehabus.org or to see answers to common questions watch YouTube video here: http://youtu.be/vKAJCXDGe2I

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Merv_Nash
http://EzineArticles.com/?Complete-Drug-And-Life-Rehabilitation&id=6669443

What you just read can put you on the right path to saving your relationship or stopping a divorce. But, you probably still have questions… For a personalized guide to get your ex back, guys, click here, ladies, click here. Good luck!

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If you’re here searching for a way to get back with your ex, make sure you read my free guide on how to get your ex back. The information you can find there is gender-specific, so, please, choose the right one for you.

Learn more about attraction and you will be able to perform magic in your relationship. When it comes to break-ups, making yourself a better and worth loving person is still the best advice you can get.

Stop Doing the Co-Dependence Dance – Nov Tip 2011
By JoAnne Ceccarelli-Egan

Must you always be the one who “bends over backwards”? Do you have to continue to dance the “Locked In” step of the enabler or is it time to develop some new “Basic Movements” and nurture when it is appropriate? In this article, I am going to invite you to change the choreography in the “Co-Dependence Dance” in your life as you consider whether you are an enabler or a nurturer. To consider this dynamic, write down the names of the people in your life that you “help out”. Once you have your list, circle the primary person that you “assist” and answer the exercise below:

1. Did the other person ask for help or support?

2. Is there an end point to your help or intervention?

3. Do/did you feel good (“okay”) about your participation?

4. Did he/she do 50% or more of their own work?

5. Did he/she thank you for your help or support?

Let’s break down the questions you just answered to help you discover if your assistance is actually helpful or harmful.

1. Did the other person ask for help or support? Enablers tend to think they know what is best for the other person. What if you don’t? Maybe the person just wants someone to listen. Instead of reacting and offering solutions, ask: “What do you need?” “What do you think would be most helpful?” “How can I support you?”

2. Is there an end point to your help? We all have challenging life situations, but they usually do have an end point. Some people seem to create one crisis after another due to poor choices. When we continuously bail a person out, it reinforces their poor decision making. Our loved ones need to learn to take responsibly for their own lives. It would be much better to support them in making wiser choices by stepping back and asking: “What are you going to do about it?” or “What solutions have you come up with?” Then let them proceed without your assistance.

3.Do you feel frustrated or taken for granted when you are “helping”? This is a signal that you have gone too far in your efforts to help. See if you can step back a little bit and maybe be a little “less helpful”. Again ask yourself: Why am I really doing this? Do I want to? What is it costing me? Am I afraid that my loved one will be angry at me if I stop? Do I feel selfish if I don’t do this little thing? Is it really necessary or are there some other alternatives?

4.Does he/she do 50% or more of the work? If someone isn’t willing to do at least 50% of the work in their life, why should you do it?” When you enable, you usually end up doing the majority, if not all, of the work. If you are working harder than the person that you are trying to help, you are over-functioning. Look at their face when you are giving them advice. Are they spacing out? Are you repeating your words and cheerleading harder. Do you dispense wonderful advice that isn’t followed? If so, then stop talking.

5. Did he/she thank me for my help or support?If the answer is “no” to this question, you need to ask yourself why they didn’t. Maybe the person didn’t see your effort as helpful? This can happen when you assume that you know what the other person needs. Sometimes people interpret unsolicited advice as a “vote of no confidence”.Another reason you might not be appreciated is because you have rescued that person so many times that they take you for granted.

You might be comfortable in your role as an enabler and wondering why you should stop being so “helpful”. It is because enabling is not healthy for you, but more importantly it is not good for your loved one. In order to discontinue the dance of enabling, you might wish to try some of the following suggestions:

Become conscious of your intentions when you are tempted to jump in and be a caretaker. Ask yourself why are you jumping in? Is it a habit? Do I feel selfish? Do I feel guilty if I do not help? Why else?

Set clear boundaries beforehand about the amount of time or effort that you are willing to spend on the situation. I once had a friend who could suck me into listening to her drama for hours, even an entire day; she was that good. The way I finally set limits was that I would make sure I had another commitment scheduled a few hours after we were to meet which would force me to end the time we were together.

Stop offering assistance immediately. It is better to promise nothing at the moment, and later if you have the time and energy, do something helpful. Because I tend to jump in immediately and offer assistance, I am fostering the habit of saying, “let me think about it and get back to you”. When I get distance, I can be more realistic about whether I have the where with all to help or if it is even appropriate. In a crisis laden moment, you might promise things that you later regret. If that is the case, it is perfectly fine to go back to the person and renege. I will say, “In thinking about it, I realize that I let my ‘heart’ speak and it is not realistic for me to do help at this time.”

Don’t give advice unless it is asked.When a person talks about a problem you often get confused and think that they are asking for advice when in reality, they are venting. I find it helpful to ask them, “Are you asking for my opinion?” Generally, the answer is “no”. If the answer is “yes”, try to give them a few options and then be quiet. Take a deep breath and listen. You really do not have to fix it!!! If they disregard your options ask: “What is it you think you need to do?” Or what would be most helpful to do now?” If they reply, “I don’t know!” Remind them of a previous success they have had in their life and that they are capable and will come up with the right solution for them.

Are you tired of dancing backwards? Have your toes been stepped on enough? Well do a “reverse turn”! The first step will be awareness that you habitually dance the “locked in” step, then honesty about your motivation for continuing to only do “the box step” and finally courage to end the “Dos–dos”. Create some new dance steps and choreograph a new dance routine in your life.

Reflection Questions:

1. What is the hook that keeps you “helping”?

2. What is one new dance step that you will try this month?

Remember, Ginger Rogers did everything that Fred Astaire did, backwards and on high heels. –Source unknown

http://www.tryanewperspective.com/

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=JoAnne_Ceccarelli-Egan
http://EzineArticles.com/?Stop-Doing-the-Co-Dependence-Dance—Nov-Tip-2011&id=6654416

If you’re serious about getting your ex back, now you can get a free, step-by-step and personalized guide to reverse your break-up. Get started today! Guys, click here to get your ex girlfriend back. Ladies, click here to get your ex boyfriend back.

Other useful resource: get her back

If you want to learn the proven methods needed to win back the love of your life, you need to follow a system for you to be successful in getting your ex back. You cannot afford to make the wrong moves when it comes to getting back together with your ex. Before you do anything, you should have a plan and strategy in place. Guys, click here to get her back, ladies, click here to get him back.

Learn more about attraction and you will be able to perform magic in your relationship. When it comes to break-ups, making yourself a better and worth loving person is still the best advice you can get.

Conflict Resolution in Relationship
By Tosin Abdulazeez

Conflicts evolve in our daily activities and must be expertly managed. When conflict is mismanaged, it negatively affects the relationship between individuals and ultimately suppresses the desire to be mutually innovative but when handled in a respectful and positive way, it provides an opportunity for growth and ultimately strengthens the bond between people.

Cruel misunderstandings, one after another yet sublime, can alter a family. Thus, learning how to deal with conflict rather than avoiding it is crucial. While we learn from our mistakes, we would probably be more happy with less education. Neither does it mean the end of one’s freedom nor putting up with torture. The key is to find a balance and overcome these uncomfortable situations.

Firstly, Get In Touch With Your Feelings because sometimes we feel angry or resentful, but don’t know why. Mostly, we feel that the other person isn’t doing what they ‘should, but we aren’t aware of exactly what we want from them, or if it’s even reasonable. We need to get in touch with our feelings with our “personal journal”. It helps to get in touch with our own feelings, thoughts and expectations so we are better able to communicate them to the other person.

Secondly, endeavour to Hone Your Listening Skills. How effectively we listen is at least as important as how effectively we express ourselves. It’s vital to understand the other person’s perspective, rather than just our own, if we are to come to a resolution.

Thus, you need to help other people to feel heard and understood because this can sometimes go a long way towards understanding the differences. Unfortunately, active listening is a skill that not everybody knows, and it’s common for people to think they’re listening, while in their heads they’re actually formulating their next response, thinking to themselves how wrong the other person is, or doing things other than trying to understand the other person’s perspective. It’s also common to be so defensive and entrenched in your own perspective that you literally can’t hear the other person’s point of view.

Thirdly, always communicate your feelings and needs clearly. Because saying the wrong things can be like pouring fuel on fire, and make the conflict worse. The important thing to remember is to say what’s on your mind in a way that is clear and assertive, without being aggressive or putting the other person on the defensive. It is better to sleep on what you plan to do than to lie awake because of what you have done.

Fourthly, always endeavour to seek a “common ground” because once you understand the other person’s perspective, and they understand yours; it provides a comfortable feeling.

The important thing is to come to a place of understanding, and try to work things out in a way that’s respectful to all involved. It is much easier to cry about the way things are, to grumble and to complain, than it is to build up the courage to change our circumstances. We’d rather leave it up to God, and when we ‘realise’ that God is not hearing our cries, we start losing faith.

Finally, resolving conflict in relationship can be tricky. If handled improperly, attempts at conflict resolution can actually make the conflict worse. For those who weren’t born into a family where perfect conflict resolution skills were modelled on a daily basis; Only you can decide if a relationship can be improved, or should be let go. Achieving a goal is never final and failure to do so is never fatal. The worst failure is failure to try.

Hi, my name is Tosin. I have an easy going and fun loving personality. My favourite club is Manchester United. I love surfing the Internet, analysing soccer, reading intellectual, educative, entertaining and analytic articles.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Tosin_Abdulazeez
http://EzineArticles.com/?Conflict-Resolution-in-Relationship&id=6550325

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Narcissistic Emotional Abusers and Toxic Relationships – Let’s Play Ball
By Ruth E David

The term “toxic relationship” was beginning to be heard in the United States approximately twenty years ago. Recently this author came across an amazing chart included in Rorie Raye’s material “Have the Relationship You Want.”

A questionnaire in Rorie’s material asks about the actions of the person with whom you are involved identifying whether you have a “good” person, a “clueless” person, a “difficult” person, or a “toxic” person.

A good person is described as someone who can play ball with you. If you throw them the ball, they catch the ball and throw it back to you and you catch the ball and throw it back to them.

Reciprocity is present. The relationship works smoothly.

The “clueless” person is someone that is aware they are playing a game of catching ball with you, but when you throw the ball towards them, they are looking the opposite direction. When you inform them that you threw the ball their direction and they missed it, they immediately apologize and begin looking for and retrieving the ball.

They find the ball and throw it back to you and you both resume playing ball with one another.

The “difficult” person can be described as one wherein the previous scenario occurs. Instead of “catching on” to how the game is played, however, you spend a lot of time teaching, reminding, and reviewing how to play the game on frequent occasions.

A “toxic” person is one who looks directly at you, sees you’re about to throw the ball, stands there looking blankly at you, you throw the ball, the ball drops to the ground, and the toxic person looks at you like you’re ridiculous and says, “Didn’t you see I wasn’t ready?”

You respond by going over and chasing the ball apologizing that you didn’t see they weren’t ready. You resume to play ball and the same scenario happens again and again.

You say you want to play ball. That means ball games, not head games! Is it possible with narcissistic emotional abusers?

When you decide you want to go play with someone else, it is then that the toxic person engages and plays a few rounds of ball successfully catching and throwing the ball back and forth with you. The toxic person, however, soon returns to the same initial way of playing ball when you begin to become comfortable playing catch with them.

This cycle continues for years with the toxic person never figuring out how to play catch for any length of time the way normal people play catch because one of two reasons. One reason is that they don’t want to play ball the way you want to play ball or the second reason being that they simply can’t play ball the way the normal game of playing ball is played.

Ask yourself what kind of game of ball catching would you prefer playing? Have you ever played catch with someone who really knows how to play and can read how you can catch and then throws the ball in a way that feels good for you and works?

Or, are you so used to chasing dropped balls with your partner who never seems to “get it?”

There comes a time when you will realize that for once in your life you’d like to really play ball instead of scrambling after balls that not only fall on the floor, but most of time fall in places you really don’t want to put your hands.

Perhaps an important choice to consider would be to think about playing ball with a different person while you still can.

There is a video on “YouTube” by “A Gossamer Heart” with a slide showing a picture of a young child evolving to a middle-aged woman and to a mature-aged woman. Similarly to the video, look at the stress lines in your face and begin to realize that those lines are there to stay and that the years existing in a relationship that is everything but satisfying are gone.

Time waits for no one.

FREE guides “What is emotional abuse?” and “What is an emotional abuser?” – Ruth Elaine David, Professional Mental Health Provider, teaches people how to stop emotional abuse in their intimate relationships with emotional abusers, and more specifically, narcissistic emotional abusers.

To access your FREE guides TODAY, visit: http://www.EscapeEmotionalAbuserNow.com

Visit: http://www.Facebook.com/EscapeWithRuth to ask questions or make comments

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Ruth_E_David
http://EzineArticles.com/?Narcissistic-Emotional-Abusers-and-Toxic-Relationships—Lets-Play-Ball&id=6752752

If you’re serious about getting your ex back, now you can get a free, step-by-step and personalized guide to reverse your break-up. Get started today! Guys, click here to get your ex girlfriend back. Ladies, click here to get your ex boyfriend back.

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Learn more about attraction and you will be able to perform magic in your relationship. When it comes to break-ups, making yourself a better and worth loving person is still the best advice you can get.

To Resolve Conflict
By Tom Maker

Conflicts can arise anywhere, in any relationship due to some serious reasons but important thing is to resolve them. A good behavioral approach is important for this.

You need to make few changes in your approach only then you can think about to change the situation. You need to be soft to resolve conflict.

Following things can help you in this regard,by applying few things in your approach; you can easily win the situation.

Accept your mistake: It’s important to accept your mistake, if you are clearly wrong. Nobody is perfect in this world so mistakes can happen from you also but the big thing is to accept them. When anything wrong happened in your work then don’t blame others for the mistake and never pretend that you are completely right or you know your job better. Always accept your mistake and ready to correct it. It will bring other person down. Errors are expected in any business but the important thing is to work over them. Conflicts can occur in one-to one relationship or meetings or negotiations etc. although there may be similarities between these areas but each one has different emphasis.

If the conflict arise in the meeting then find out the areas of agreement.

A conversation with the related person after the meeting can resolve the issue. Present your view in front of the related person but don’t force him to follow your plan as it can distract him more.

Try to agree with the person on a valid point as there definitely will be some ways to balance the situation from both the sides in a positive way.

Be ready for the compromise as this is a crucial step to resolve conflict from both the sides.

Always remember that the goal of the company is more important so if the other person’s view is more accurate or his plan is more solid then don’t hesitate to get agree with him.

Learn to negotiate the problem. It will always be better for you. Those things are not of much importance for you just ignore them. Communicative,focused and adaptable people negotiate little things.

Respect the other person during the communication. It’s important to stay calm. A solution stage can be achieved easily if both the parties are professional. Conflicts can be sorted out with a sincere attitude. Never confront with the person with negativity or never complain for little things.

Try to leave a positive impact on others because your negative impact can destroy your image and at the same time affect your work also.

Conflicts are just part of life so don’t take them so seriously. The important part is to resolve the conflict and that can be done with the help of above mentioned facts.

For more information please contact at the given address: to resolve conflict and crucialconfrontationsapp.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Tom_Maker
http://EzineArticles.com/?To-Resolve-Conflict&id=6740200

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Other useful resource: how to get her back

It is important to remember that you can save your relationship even if things seem hopeless. Please, don’t give up. This article is a great start, but for a step-by-step formula that is guaranteed to win back the heart of your sweetheart, check out this gender-specific guide: guys, click here, ladies, click here. It saved my relationship and I would recommend it anyone.

It is important to keep your emotions in control because in situations like this it is better to use your head than your heart.

What If They Don’t Want to Resolve the Conflict
By Judy Ringer

I frequently receive the following question when working with coaching clients and during workshops. What if I’m the only one who wants to resolve the conflict?

What if they don’t care about resolving the conflict?

If you’re entering a conflict conversation believing this, it will be difficult to gain traction. More than any other element, your attitude does the heavy lifting in determining how the conversation goes.

You can’t change the unwilling person, only yourself.

You can’t make them curious, open, or self-disclosing. You can’t make them care. However, if you remain centered, curious, and open, you may find the other person changes of their own accord. Your positive outlook is an invitation that’s hard to refuse. Your openness creates space for something new to emerge from the relationship.

5 Additional Tips

#1: Look for the person who wants to resolve the conflict. When we are in conflict with someone, we only see one part of that person–the part we don’t like or have difficulty with. This person has many selves, just like you. Find the one that might want to end the difficulty and invite that person to the conversation.

#2: Choose a purpose for the conversation that might appeal to the other person: “I’d like to talk with you about something that might help us work together better / get along better / resolve this issue / be friends again.” What would help this person come to the table? What might help him/her get on board?

#3: Look at the situation from the other person’s point of view. How many of us know this already? How many times do we suggest it, teach it, and demonstrate it to clients, friends and others in conflict? And how difficult it is to do when the conflict is ours! When you are puzzled and frustrated by your partner’s resistance, instead of viewing him/her as stubborn or irrational, understand there’s an emotional process going on for them. As long as they are struggling with this process, it will be hard for them to change. Investigate, name, or give the process time to unwind.

#4: Acknowledge the resistance. There may be some resistance in you as well that you aren’t even aware of. Your need to have the conflict resolved, for instance, can be felt as a kind of pressure by your partner. Sometimes leaving the conflict alone for awhile will relieve the pressure and make it possible for your partner to step forward into the opening. You can do this with a statement such as, “I’m going to let this conversation (issue, conflict, problem) be for a while. I think I’m adding pressure and I don’t want to do that. Please know that I would like to resolve things with you and am open to talking whenever you want.”

#5: Continue to be cordial, respectful and engaged, holding the vision that the two of you will work things through. See the future with the problem resolved.

About the Author: Judy Ringer is the author of Unlikely Teachers: Finding the Hidden Gifts in Daily Conflict, http://www.unlikelyteachersbook.com and the award-winning e-zine, Ki Moments, containing stories and practices on turning life’s challenges into life teachers. Judy is a black belt in aikido and nationally known presenter, specializing in unique workshops on conflict, communication, and creating a positive work environment. She is the owner of Power & Presence Training, and founder of Portsmouth Aikido, Portsmouth, NH, USA. To sign up for more free tips and articles like these, visit http://www.JudyRinger.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Judy_Ringer
http://EzineArticles.com/?What-If-They-Dont-Want-to-Resolve-the-Conflict&id=6738811

You got to have the patience and determination to win your ex back. Here is a guided system that has helped thousands of people save their relationships: Guys, click here, ladies, click here.

Other useful resource: how to get your ex girlfriend back